in the flowers

i don't know where my feelings are today
i think i should get married today
or
i will sequester all the serotonin
into this one finger
then i'll find my soul
i'll say hello
and then leave it somewhere in the flowers somewhere somewhere

"to hold you in time
to hold you in time
to hold you in time
to hold you in time"

I embrace the surge of the unreal. lack of feelings disassociates me with the unreal. I am outside myself, interacting with society. I am banished from my inner world. I am whatever

"If I could just leave my body for the night"

I'm doing this thing where i look at myself in the mirror while I write. It is disturbing. I don't understand my reflection. I don't understand how I have a body. I don't understand what I look like.

am i high right now
seems like it