I see the end
the end the end
the end of me and
the end of you, twenty feet down
lost in some
Mickey d's patties
The end of me
sitting in a fountain
wishing for wishing in central park
the end of you
on the ground
walking taller than
your stubby shadow

mother effin
I'm tired and all I do is stare
What's some good music I should listen to. everything is shit. I am listening to the Temptations, Ray Charles. Should I just stop listening to music. Should I try to listen to silence.


right on

experiment: in a room with people, but only conversing through gchat.

I feel conscious of the "trying to do something"
I can't get into it at first because I am too aware of the physicality of other people
I am out of the (holy) moment, feeling cliched or something

Starting to feel high.
this is strange
What should I do.
the screen is getting hazy.
I'm trying to write while trying to chat
seems impossible. I'm too aware
of existing.

the face is moot.
an exclamation point flows directly out of the head
to the fingertips
and there is no physical recognition

I feel high.
I wonder what an acid flashback feels like
whether I can tap into it like this

after more time
It seems I can't break the silence
even if I tried.
I feel more solitary, enough to work more efficiently
but there is a lingering "forcefulness"
feel in limbo

There is a window next to me
I'm tempted to jump out the window.
because I'm high
because it seems like the right thing to do
people would scold me and scoff
but no one understands
that it was more of an arbitrary decision

okay I'm gonna do it
but just in my mind.
gonna listen to ariel pink's haunted graffiti
and just float down to the ground

I need to get the mood.
what emails should I respond to
who should I think of
to set my mind on the correct course
set me into gold blue light

can I use you for my happiness
my happiness depends on your happiness
your happiness should be a true silver
for this to work