I AM MINISTER. (call on me for all your marital needs)

Example ordination


mother am I smart?
mother I'm not drunk I can't think
mother tell me how dumb I am
mother be honest with me
mother how many terrible decisions have I made
mother I can't see myself when I walk past the mirror
mother thank you for not lying, but that's no help
mother thank you
mother bless you


Tao Lin + Pilot Books

I am awake at 11:30
Should I skip my class?
I have a beautiful schedule that looks like
12:15-1:20 some class
1:30-3:35 some class
3:45-5:50 Time Travel class
6:00-8:00 some class
I will skip. the sun is out, and Tao is out.

I walked into Pilot Books at 12:

Tao Is talking to this man
Summer is there
and no one else. I feel exclusive.
I sit in some chair and look at Tao Lin
He is a real person
He says some things to me, I don't remember

other people arrive

(Girl is quiet the whole time, her boyfriend or boy friend talks about "shitstorm alberto")

(guy says "Oh, I KNOW, about muumuu house")

(Woman seems unaware of generation. though she seems genuinely interested. She talks aloud about herself for some time, and I think I'd rather like to hear Tao talking instead)

He was talking about MuuMuu House
But I mostly couldn't hear him
because my brain was screaming about
"something something Tao Lin something"
and then stopping to ponder if
Tao Lin would hang out with me if I invited him
to this show that a friend and I wanted to go to

Or, wouldn't he say yes if I invited
to smoke him out, with some of my raddest of friends?

He was talking all the while
He had this invincible smirk on him
whenever it got quiet

And he threw BrandonSCottGorrell's book at everyone in the room
per BrandonSCottGorrell's request via Video Chat from Mexico
I think I said "I already have one"
I think he said "have another one"
now I have 3 of this book
1 as a galley copy, i guess, when I was at Wave Books
1 from some sale Tao was having at his online store
1 from going to this muumuu house session

Someone asked BrandonSCottGorrell
"is gchat good for relationships?"
he said yes
he said "I made a lot of internet friends on gchat. High quality ones"

Right before that Tao said about the muumuu house website
"It's supposed to be innovative but nobody cares"

I had to leave in the middle of his presentation
I have to leave Tao, sorry I'm being rude,
It's not that I'm bored
I just have to learn about Jesus.
He said "what's your name"
I said "thad"
and I felt like it was a holy moment
"I'll be back" I said
and the sun was still out


I Return at 6pm.
how could so many people fit in Pilot Books
everyone is young
after tao reads there are questions and there is also silence
in the silence everyone wants to hug tao lin
everyone wants to buy him a drink
everyone wants to know whats on his ipod
everyone wants to have a gmail chat with him
except, if possible, in real life

I ask him to sign the back of my phone
We talk about putting tape on it so that it will last
but I also liked the idea of it fading away with time
His signature is already gone

I'm not sure if I regret not using tape
I think I'm okay with it

When I meet "famous" people
I'm sometimes not sure about myself
I think I give them too much power over me
power that I don't enjoy being witness to
that allows them to sort of transcend humanity
one of my friends put it
"They know nothing about me, and I know so much about them
why don't they want to know about me"
the balance is off as if
I told a girl that I liked her
and she said nothing to me
and I would then want to erase her from my memory
but I felt like meeting tao was different for some reason
like he was more human then me
and maybe he would even hang out with me



I'm probably not anyone
I'm an amalgam of the culture
of my teachers
I'm roughly 3,000,000 pixels
I am bound in history

420 has been a series of 3-5 days
because my time is private
and I am from head to feet
a deadline sick in bed


A poem from James Murphy

Is LCD Soundsystem's track listing for This is Happening a poem?

Dance Yrself Clean
Drunk Girls
One Touch
All I WantI Can Change
You Wanted A Hit
Pow Pow
Somebody’s Calling Me

Are you in Seattle right now?
the sky will shit soon, look at how constipated it is.



my head is turning into a bush
I lost my beanie for a week and it was the worst week of life thus far
Someone asked me if I have a blog and I felt stupid
my lucky boxers are now my unlucky boxers
I am INFJ and ENJF
(My level of outwardness/inwardness depends on the friends I am with/not with)
so many earthquakes
My perception of you is marked by your simplest actions (I feel like you are evil now)
I listened to GRizzly Bear's "Knife" 43 times today
I met Michael McClure, he taught me some poetry stuff
I saw Animal Collective, Avey Tare waved at me, I felt a bond
Saw Tao Lin and the sun was out that day I laughed a lot
picked up pink pillars from the yard, 35% of my room is now pale pink
my mother knows how to google now
I watched Little Miss Sunshine for maybe the 20th time
I am losing my vocabulary
I want something new
I wish I had the drive to become an astrophysicist
there are genuine people out there somewhere, I don't know many of them
if you ever come to my room
do not take a breath
because I was cremated in this air
that head is like a bush