LOST tells me in its finale:

nothing in life matters but the relationships you make
there are many mysteries that we will never know the answers to
so go spiritual instead of scientific

Hm, that's nice, I guess.
I wish I could've gotten "trashed" after the finale but I had homework to do.
specifically, I had to finish PKD's book, Man in the High Castle.

All LOST letdown aside, it was awesome to parallel this ending with PKD's ending. Double climax.

both deal with alternate histories. The real ending scene to LOSt is a picture of the initial plane crash scene. There are no survivors. PKD tells a story where Germany and Japan win WWII. Doesn't seem to be an alternate history by the end of the book. More like an parallel dimension that refers to ours.

"I thought you lived in a fortress," Juliana said.
Bending to regard her, Hawthorne Abendsen smiled a meditative smile. "Yes, we did. But we had to get up to it in an elevator and I developed a phobia. I was pretty drunk when I got the phobia but as I recall it, and they tell it, I refused to stand up in it because I said that the elevator cable was being hauled up by Jesus Christ, and we were going all the way. And I was determined not to stand."


Ancient Submissions.

What is Gothic Funk?
Their blog seems strange, like it's trying to keep its identity a secret.
Also, their name clashes with the website layout.
or maybe not, I guess, since "funk" is attached to "Gothic"
I guess it flips the intended meaning of just "gothic"

it seems I submitted something to them over a year(?) ago.
It seems like it will appear in this cool/confusing format like this
I've forgotten what these guys are all about.
Did I even submit the poem, or did they steal it from my hard drive?
People take so long handling submissions these days.
Some older poet told me that once upon a time editors sent replies within 2-3 weeks.
I'm too young to know that time. Sounds mythical.
anyway, thanks for accepting my work Gothic Funk.


Internet Doldrums

entering maybe my 5th hour straight on the internet
not counting a nap that cut between my surfing experience
I didn't plan this, it just happened
I've wasted most of the last 26 hours with these pixels:

12am- feeling feverish/bieberish
12am- try to download azure for the first time
12am- try to download connect360
12am- surf interweb try to find zune software for macbook
1am - succeed in connecting macbook to xbox360
1am - watch Reggie Watts m4v on TV via xbox
1am - feeling sicker, eating ice cream remedy
3am - Advil pills/sleep

12pm- Wake up/ open up Macbook/ open up Itunes/ Fats Waller "Ain't Misbehavin'"
12pm- Kellogg's Cereal "They're GREAT" (good source of vitamin D)
12pm- Tylenol extra strength
1pm - Coffee shop to review for Jesus Test
1pm - research (via WIKIPEDIA) on the Gospels
2pm - typing out things about Jesus
2pm - 2 minute "mental bitching" session
3pm - collaborate with friend on an "aloud bitching" session
4pm - Get into the zone, the Jesus zone. Start the online test.
5pm - Fail to finish test in the time limit
5pm - Tylenol Extra Strength
6pm - meet someone new/ look at artwork/ wonder about "gaydars"
6pm - meet a good looking/ friendly cat
7pm - Advil
8pm - Steak plus carrots / airborne
8pm to 10pm-- ONLINE --Yahoo, Outlook, Pitchfork, Blogspot, Wired, HTMLgiant, Google, Youtube, Facebook, MSNBC, SeattleUniversitySpectator, Hulu, The Strokes, Dilandau, Grooveshark, AssociatedPress, Gmail, HipsterRunnoff, DropBox, Woot, TomsShoes, heheheheeheeeheh, yo-yo master Prankster, Riot Dog, Futurama, Repeat

- Sudden Nap
11pm - Wake up dazed. Neck cramp. Sticky mouth. Confidence loss. Fever, not for the Bieber.
11pm to 2pm-- ONLINE-- Yahoo, Outlook, Pitchfork, Blogspot, Wired, HTMLgiant, Google, Youtube, Facebook, MSNBC, SeattleUniversitySpectator, Hulu, The Strokes, Dilandau, Grooveshark, AbsolutepunkForums, Gmail, HipsterRunnoff, DropBox, Woot, TomsShoes, heheheheeheeeheh, Rhinoceros Escape, Riot Dog, Family Guy, Repeat

- silence except for the quiet humming of the computer. achieved a dizzied state, altered state by staring at screen for lengthened state/ not moving anything but hands and fingers. It's an electric dream.
2pm - Tylenol /sleep

These are the questions I want to see answered:
(how many hours per day do you spend on the computer
how many hours per day does Avey Tare spend on the computer
how many hours per day does TAo Lin spend on the computer
how many hours per day would Jesus spend on the computer?)

maybe I wish a had a mom here to take away my computer privileges
I remember when I let go of my FAcebook,
I remember how free I felt
I want to feel free again


The Garden morning is Full of Fiction

in the morning
is a cadence
and a quiver of green
In the chest arise
eloquent blades
convene to a whisper
"this day is sol
and something something"
But it was not a day
it was a moment of
prehistoric patience
and I sat upright on a couch
as if I was sleeping


the Garden of Forking Paths

Ana C. put one of my "poems" up here
Ana C. used one of my drawings here
She seems like a genuine person

I read this short story "Garden of Forking Paths" by Jorge Luis Borges.
it was so short, only ten pages long.
the last page gave me chills, and I wrote in my book
"chills chills when did a book last give you chills?"
I don't remember. A while ago.
Maybe it was Septimus' suicide scene in Mrs. Dalloway.
and before that...oh i dont know
I mean, I've read some very good stories/books
but nothing compares to Borges story. It's haunting. It's haunting me. It was hard to speak afterward, I just kept saying aloud "What? What? What?" I couldn't get back into reality, I was stuck in the story.

Damn. Damn. completely mind blowing.
It's a mystery. about time. about parallel existence. and all the forks.
god damn.