Speaking of Space

I am waiting for the day when there are Space Pirates.
Fuck Yeah!
I will be a space pirate.
I will fuck you up,
and I will do it with character, and style.
I will be a noble Space Pirate
against mother fucking NASA.
Fuck you NASA.
But not right now.
I love you right now, NASA.
You're the shit.
But in the future, I will make you eat shit
when I am a Space Pirate

amalgam of more-negative-than-not things

I think about high school. I think about how I got "lost" in the "real world" when I graduated. what is the "real world"? everything is real. life was simpler back then, but was it better? I don't even remember. I don't want it again. but I wouldn't mind that ignorant happiness.

again I question, repetitively, never ending, am I polluting the web right now? whatever the answer is, I think it is inconsequential, because I will still talk about the same things. Whether I am doing this selfishly or selflessly. Well, It's definitely not selfless, I don't do it for others. The question is, do I then do it for myself? I think, maybe, for my own entertainment. and out of boredom. do I get anything else out of it? Maybe it helps me to sort out my own thoughts, in my self reflection

When people leave comments, I get confused, because I think, "people read what I say here? How do they even find this blog?"

This blog sails through
the interSPACE
of the humming computers.
massive sails
and no god damn anchor.

Paper Wall

Paper Wall liked one of my poems I submitted them.  I will be in some issue.

It was a short poem.  I love short poems.  and I also hate them.

This is the beginning

hello blog, you mother fucker

I wrote 8 half poems tonight.  

I'm not sure how something like this comes about.

In my nonexistent state

I should pass right through this door

but I search for my keys instead

it is more of a ritual

a conjuration of the open mind

to pass straight through

the door

I almost forgot about this blog.  it is already off of my bookmarks in my safari browser.  and then I switched over to Firefox, in order to (subconsciously) further distance myself from the blog, because my Firefox browser has no recollection of this blog.  anyway, fate brought me back to Safari, because their download thing makes me happier.  and now i am here.  that was an exciting retelling.  i'm all tired now.

ACID ZEN

acid recently, to make my mind scream.
zen recently, because my mind will not shut up.


The possibilities are endless
I came into this world thinking
that this was it, popping out
of toasters, baking from the
ovens. Someone will return.
But, no, I could be anywhere,
I was wrong. And now the
Serotonin! Much too much.
And the real stuff is mocked,
so it will leave me
all at once.
And the possibilities are endless,
and everything has gone to shit.
I have nothing to say about this
Serotonin all weepy, everything
everything is leaving me at once.
Now,
Now,
Now.
Now!
my soul coming up through my chest!

doubting thomas

doubting thomas

Doom, maybe.

god, no, what am i doing with myself. am i dooming myself to destruction. what are my reasons. am i throwing away morals. what are my morals. what is "right" and "wrong". Has society figured out what is "right and "wrong". Have my parents figured it out. Is God out there. is he telling me what is "right" and "wrong". will i never be the same. is my mind a shivering weak lost puppy, and am I fucking with him. am i beating him to the ground. my own mind.

when I ask questions without question marks i feel even less of a human. and feel like an empty shell entering data. I feel even more lost. I reread the questions without question marks and I sink much deeper.

I wear hats to make me feel more human. I match clothes to make me feel more human. I wear unnecessary vests and rings to make me feel more human. Because that is what we humans are known for. That is what makes humans, essentially, human: we like to dress up.

This all sounds depressing, but I am not depressed. and I am not self-indulged or ungrateful. But I feel like I will be all of these things soon. Because the end is coming.

*edit*

I am a new person already.  that was ages ago.