I question

I question why i keep "blogging" now.  I question why.  I don't like this.  or I thought I didn't.  I think society has just made blogging so idiotic that I am forced to hate it, because that's the type of person I am.  

Basically I am just talking to myself.  I am up at 2 in the AM, talking to myself.  why?  why?  

I am a person losing dreams by becoming them.  

for the sake of...??????

on a day that i was a crazy, i wrote this 

my mind

my mind

my mind

my mind

my mind

my mind

my mind

hey, man

It's not always about me

except that

what else is there to process

in a room of rooms

a building of floors of rooms

and being lost in the world

lost in a small city

lost in a couple stories

a small room

my small lost mind

a small, lost universe

I think that I was talking about being lost.  

chuckle mind

about five days ago, I spent a whole day by myself.  It was nice for a little bit, but towards the end of the day, I started to go crazy because I had no outlet to express anything.  I mean, no outlet that could reciprocate any emotion that I shared.  anyway, at the end of the day I wrote like 10 poems.  what the hell is that.  is it worth it.  do i need to be alone.  why can't i balance my life.  Why do I stop using capitalization when i start questioning myself.

here's one of them:

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAH

my mind is a laughing monster

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

and my body stays still and quiet

I want to perfect my language

to you and everyone

because I am outwardly a child of bubbles

hiding behind  coffees and teas

and inside, inside everyone and you

yes, I dwell there too

Words

I've recently been thinking about specific words that are important to me.  I want them tattooed on my body.  I will have the year that it was important to me tattooed next to the word.  it will look like this:

2009: dwell

I will do this for the rest of my life.  that would be interesting.  here are some important words to me: wonder, soul, dwell, wander.  

Also, I keep thinking of the word "wanderlust".  I like the feel of that in my mouth.  wanderlust.

a room a room a flute a room

i am eating donuts

they come and go

with ease

oh the ease

I eat donuts

they come and go

with so much ease

one

by one

they disappear

a special thought for each

i am not trying to impress you, you fuck

and i cuss because i am inwardly pissed off

and i love my emotions

and it is my dog

do you know

oh do you

know

The world is yours if you let it be