amalgam of more-negative-than-not things

I think about high school. I think about how I got "lost" in the "real world" when I graduated. what is the "real world"? everything is real. life was simpler back then, but was it better? I don't even remember. I don't want it again. but I wouldn't mind that ignorant happiness.

again I question, repetitively, never ending, am I polluting the web right now? whatever the answer is, I think it is inconsequential, because I will still talk about the same things. Whether I am doing this selfishly or selflessly. Well, It's definitely not selfless, I don't do it for others. The question is, do I then do it for myself? I think, maybe, for my own entertainment. and out of boredom. do I get anything else out of it? Maybe it helps me to sort out my own thoughts, in my self reflection

When people leave comments, I get confused, because I think, "people read what I say here? How do they even find this blog?"

This blog sails through
the interSPACE
of the humming computers.
massive sails
and no god damn anchor.

I question

I question why i keep "blogging" now.  I question why.  I don't like this.  or I thought I didn't.  I think society has just made blogging so idiotic that I am forced to hate it, because that's the type of person I am.  

Basically I am just talking to myself.  I am up at 2 in the AM, talking to myself.  why?  why?  

I am a person losing dreams by becoming them.  

a room a room a flute a room

i am eating donuts

they come and go

with ease

oh the ease

I eat donuts

they come and go

with so much ease

one

by one

they disappear

a special thought for each

i am not trying to impress you, you fuck

and i cuss because i am inwardly pissed off

and i love my emotions

and it is my dog

do you know

oh do you

know

The world is yours if you let it be

Reflecting on my Beginnings

i don't really know if i am being myself here on this blog.  I mean, who is this person? Thad?  thad?  THAd?

I look over my first postings, and feel satisfied and comforted.  I am communing with myself tonight, spending hours messing through my thoughts and typing it out.  

actually i don't like the thought of that.  It's disgUSTing.  Repulsive!!!  that's just me being by myself.  i would love to be with people right now.  I LOVE (some) PEOPLE.  well, it's pretty late.  why do people go to sleep so early?

I am much different in person.  But this is the filtered ESP of me.