Doom, maybe.

god, no, what am i doing with myself. am i dooming myself to destruction. what are my reasons. am i throwing away morals. what are my morals. what is "right" and "wrong". Has society figured out what is "right and "wrong". Have my parents figured it out. Is God out there. is he telling me what is "right" and "wrong". will i never be the same. is my mind a shivering weak lost puppy, and am I fucking with him. am i beating him to the ground. my own mind.

when I ask questions without question marks i feel even less of a human. and feel like an empty shell entering data. I feel even more lost. I reread the questions without question marks and I sink much deeper.

I wear hats to make me feel more human. I match clothes to make me feel more human. I wear unnecessary vests and rings to make me feel more human. Because that is what we humans are known for. That is what makes humans, essentially, human: we like to dress up.

This all sounds depressing, but I am not depressed. and I am not self-indulged or ungrateful. But I feel like I will be all of these things soon. Because the end is coming.

*edit*

I am a new person already.  that was ages ago.