Waterfall, fall with me for a million days

i'm telling this to my roommate adam right now too. I've been training myself lately (for 5 years i guess, since i was a moron before that), to be "moved" to all or most forms of innovative, genius, towering forms of music, upon first listens--to experience the ecstasy of the virgin listen--instead of having to force myself to listen to some music that I just think I should like. I think i've reached that point, where I don't need to wait on music anymore, where I have been patient enough already, and I can understand upon first listens. And I don't need to fight through time anymore, I don't have to wait to love a spectacular album, don't have to wait for anything to sink in, don't need ritalin to stay focused, don't need to torrent thousands of songs at once, and never pay any attention to 99% of the songs, don't need to make bullshit rules like "if the first 15 seconds doesnt..."

I think i've "trained" my ears and tastes to the point where I can genuinely love and appreciate the great music that has come before my time. I can understand what music deserves respect, without someone telling me, I can feel it in my bones, i can revel in it. But now I feel like I still don't have enough time to listen to everything i want to listen to you. I want it all now, but i have to work for it, need time need more time. I hope I don't die soon, I'm not ready anymore. But it's easier now, all so much easier, and so fulfilling. It feeds my soul, keeps me from depression or whatever, drives my each day to the next so easily.

Oh my jesus this is an incredible looking cover:

I feel pretty damn retarded that I haven't been listening to Jimi Hendrix enough at this point in my life, that i've only remotely liked a few of his songs. It really gives me a deep pain, my ignorance.


4/11 edit: this post seems stupid or juvenile or something in retrospect. Jimi is cool.

I don't

i am on the ground
because the ground loves me
like no one else

I see your face on the white ceiling
you're so terribly far away
i can't even touch you when i stand
and besides the ground just whispered to me
"sweetie-pie"
in a terribly sexy tone
I think I'll stay here

I lie supine with a cigarette in mind
it has been a dream of mine
to see the smoke rise before my eyes

now i am smoking this cigarette
because this cigarette always shows me a good time
even though he might kill me someday
but that should be a good time too

I am on the ground with all the
lingering white lines above me
it's almost too much ecstasy to handle
and there you are on the ceiling
he must love you
you must've heard the same melodies
I heard in my ear
i understand now
thank god

I feel changed

{hey
this is my voice
it hides under depression
I am dishonest by myself, I really am, I don't even know it}

humans I don't trust
I'm sorry, for you and for myself
but I acknowledge
when i am out of body
when I see the world from a cloudless sky
it's all I can do
I am stuck
I was born

In fate we are
trapped, leveled
Dr. Professor whatever forced me to see
Oedipus, Sutpen, Agamemnon, Hamlet
but the end Is whatever
depressing as whatever, what matter
I say, "What is the point if I will never know?"
Jason Wirth told me, "It's about the process!"
and the scythe will always come
but what matter

So I realized,
I can climb mountains
I can fucking climb a mountain!
and that is
and if I was meant to do that
if God ordained me
and said,
this is what you are going to do
I will not complain about my choice
whether I be climbing in the past
or present future, along the Tralfamadorian range
I will climb that mountain

let me enjoy it
let me live to see the road to mexico
to Bolivia
down under the sea
towards Greece, Mongolia
and I will never be lost
I will be

I am young
you say this to me
you my comrade
let us drink for we are golden
in the sun, in the hail
in the hellish vagrant airs
where we see our souls
in each breath
we are golden

listen to my drunken slur
I will trust,
if I give you my words
that this will matter
that you will soon be as drunken as I
and that we will vomit with passion
(the toilet as beautiful as the sink as beautiful as the faucet, as beautiful as the bottle)
for the mountain


( Mountain! mountain! Mountain ! Mountain! mountain!
mountain! Mountain ! Mountain ! mountain! mountain!)

to you, from i

persons, inspire
create, give
If you ask, I will
If you're lovely, I will
with much reason
you, me

TRends

Look at what's "trending now" on yahoo
who can i punch in the face for this
I'm gonna punch Alex in the face for this
I hate him
I hate yahoo



I'm scared.
I haven't written a poem that I feel passionate about
in like 12 days.
don't know what the fuck
is happening
I feel stupid and
whatever other stuff too

dear devil,
i'll sell you my soul to write better poetry
(can I write poetry without a soul?)
god wouldn't give it to me, never gave me a deal
and i believe in both of them
fuckers
and I believe in deals
I believe in karma
my obsession is in
calling my mother
and then meeting some hot girls
calling my father
and then receiving a letter of acceptance from caketrain or something
calling my grandmother
and then gaining telekinetic powers
There is balance there is order
so says jesus
he is crucified on my brain tremors
he is at war with nicotine .08 percent etc
they don't know how to be at peace
but I don't want to believe in these things
I would like to believe in myself instead

Matthew Rohrer says:
I'm going to sit here until I feel my soul