close to my heart

start an artist circle
do plenty o' drugs
sequester failures in others
never speak again

the softest of blankets

When the last of our carbon emissions has reached the earth's atmosphere, and all that, won't our end look beautiful from outer space? Nature will cover us, will bring us home, 2012, 2020, 2050. I'm thinking that everything sad is beautiful or hilarious from far away ///////
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mad mad hawaii

hawaii is stagnant
more so than ever
more putrid with each visit
the people
the lazy fuckers
all the same walkers, talkers
all the same experience, the life I knew for 8 years
or whatever
I can't stop looking down
I'm wiser than all those wrinkled fuckers
wading in the water wading in the humid air
god help me

those beautiful mountains
They live apart from anything I would ever do
A subtle brain cleansing
make us lie down, make us breath
in the gathering clouds upending the skies
god i'll puke all over this land

I have nothing to say about this place
Hawaii it takes all my words
takes all my voices, all my hands
{I need a facebook again, I need a game to eat up my life, I don't want to see my downfall, I want to die in ignorance if I die on these green pastures, amongst the cow, from where, amongst the hibiscus, amongst plumeria, amongst methed out polynesians grabbing desperately, drowning in their own land, independence, independence, you dumb foolish fuckers, you see the oceans but you cannot see the stars}

can't live without expression
it carves me out, makes me irritable
Give me a computer game please
I don't want to see my death

my old television was haunted, but my new one is HD

This is Kyle. This is Kyle in front of our single-multi-media system. After watching hours of static and blinking cursors, we watched Waking Life, Dune, Coraline, videos of Reggie Watts, and Fear and Loathing simultaneously. We don't do any drugs ever, we've never done any o' that shit we always play it safe, and that bottle in the picture is a fat bottle of apple cider and we are all about 32 years old in this house and rated R movies are iffy because they have suggestive material in it that's why it's rated "restricted" and society knows whats best and society knows whats up and I am really enjoying that song up! by M83.

Also, I really enjoy this website: http://youfellasleepwatchingadvd.com/

Facebook

deleted my facebook after a month of fasting from it. finally free. now I might have to blog forever. or i may want to "free" myself from this as well. Then what else can I free myself from...?

I am in the heaven that comes after internet. there is heaven, yes. well, actually i'm not sure if this is heaven. it could be hell. but either way, it's happier than facebook (earth!!).

how did i do it? how did i kill myself (internetally)? I did it with a quickened heartbeat. with a few farewell posts. with a couple conversation enders. I did it with an unplanned conversation and encouragement from a friend ("hey watch this, I'm gonna kill myself", he gave me a farewell post, how thoughtful). I did it with a farewell status ("Im gonna kill you, facebook, chase I'm proud of you" chase is a friend, whose steps towards death I have followed). I did it with a wry smile to kyle sitting next to me. Feels good. Nirvana for the technological generation. {[(is this 1/34 of the taste of what it would be like to actually off myself)]}

when are you going to kill yourself?