6/28/09

Snail Mail, what friendly snails!

I want honest correspondence with you.

you think i want to have sex with you.

I think I probably don't want to correspond with you.

you probably won't call me very much anymore.

6/25/09

did humans fuck everything up?

tonight you should

if you are in a small town, neighborhood

notice the night.

How can the night be so quiet?

I wonder if this is how God intended the world to be

6/22/09

the heart, goes up in smoke

the heart is cloudy, and I am hot and dry

the tip of rain’s tongue

longing lolling

into withered chords

from plants packed up in sticks

synthesized
like nylon
we are

manufactured

6/21/09

Carina. 300 Light Years


This is a small section of the Carina Nebula (NGC 3372). A dust pillar. The birthing of a star.

6/19/09

captain's log: year twenty o nine

this is the second year anniversary of the day our ship went astray. Moral among the crew is nothing. Moral is a vague reminiscence of a dream.

Though, on the upside, the tension that was brewing among everyone from prolonged flight has ceased. They have given up on ever reaching our destination...which was somewhere none can remember.

It does not matter now--the path before us is among these uncharted stars. Who knew that what was unknown was so spectacularly empty.

Recently decided to shut down all engines and hopeless navigational equipment. We will float on, to where we will float to, and destiny will be our map.

I am still tired, unlike the crew, who have given up on any such feelings. I want to say to my crew members, "farewell. I will never see you again". and I want to mean, but our ship will not ground, and solo escape missions are out of the question. We have always been on an escape mission, this entire journey, one long escape

There is a man on board, who I have never seen before, but I somehow know that he has always been here. He says to me, "you are sad because you have no cheesecake", as if he is trying to convince me of something. I see him when I frequent the observation deck, where I used to marvel at the passing stars and planets. That was when this ship had a set course. Now I don't know what to do with that wondrous sight. I don't know what to feel.

If you come across this message, I feel it is because you are lost as well, and I wish you the best of luck. We will float on.

------

6/16/09

oh sweet nothing. II

tired holding
rolling eyes
my brain sequence
slips to
word association
every story I tell
has to do with drugs
It's as old as 1938
when LSD was born
and I was not

oh sweet nothing.

should i drop out of college?

6/12/09

late hours

procrastination is a kids tale...

6/10/09

a Letter

June 10, 2009
Dear Kelly,

I’m sad for every person I meet.
And I hate the rest who I cannot find sadness for.

I can write more honestly out of craziness
because that is when everything streams forth.
that’s when I am not hindered by my conscious—
because it scurries away like a defeated bully in the school yard.

All the days that I am a scared little boy
struggling under the conscious of a universe,
I speak only lies.

There are people who I have marked
because I want to have conversations with them, in a quest to learn more about life.
Or at least, I think that is the reason—for life.
many people are afraid to know other people,
or they just don’t want to know anyone, not even themselves.
these people only want to know the facts,
or anything tangible,
And that is the most foolish thing I have ever witnessed.
and this makes me weep.

I am sad for every person
because people are going blind, people who have life in them
they are being shitted on.
and our best friends, who are not human, but who have always been with us, their time has come, while the rest of us are forced to linger.
things end
because they were once beautiful.

I sent my words to a girl, once—or twice
and she soaked up the beauty from everyone around her.
and with that beauty, she soaked up my words,
and I never heard from them again.

Cheers,

Me

6/9/09

control

there is only one star in the sky
what does that mean
it means that there is too much light pollution

6/4/09

I will miss everything everywhere

i am drugged up
and removed from "happiness"
but it is only feet away
so i need not reach for it

6/3/09

not inspired

I am not inspired. I am robotic.
emotion means nothing, really.
But I am angry about that.
I show anger.
I will not be complacent.
motherfucker.
tune to the tube.
my dreams are smoke.